Imagine this, one day you’re just hanging out, minding your own business, and doing your thing whatever that might be. Then, wham! You’re declassified from human to non-human. That’s exactly what happened to the planet Pluto, well almost.
How did this happen? Who did this to Pluto? If you need someone to blame, blame Mike.
According to The New Yorker’s article, “Discovering Planet Nine,” Mike Brown is the Caltech astronomer who discovered Eris, another celestial surprise. I’m not sure if there was a debate about the name Eris, but apparently Brown likes the name Xena better. Brown can be blamed for the unfortunate fate of Pluto, but who can blame him for liking the name Xena? Eris, Xena? Eris, Xena? I would have gone with the name Xena, totally. Xena is so much cooler than Eris.
What does this have to do with Pluto?
The finding of Eris raised questions about what constitutes a planet. Was Eris the tenth planet in our solar system? Um, no. Eris is too small. Like a Spartan child from the movie 300, Eris was found unworthy to be called a planet. Therefore, Eris was tossed aside as a dwarf planet. Well, fair is fair, if Eris isn’t a planet, then neither is Pluto. Pluto is also small in stature.
After that, things went poorly for Pluto. Thanks to Brown, Pluto was demoted from full planetary status to a dwarf planet. Brown even had the audacity to rub it in Pluto’s heart-shaped face by writing a book entitled, How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming. Who does that? And what is up with this guy and ninth planets? The nerves of some astronomers, this is so cruel on so many levels.
It’s time for someone to stand up for Pluto. I don’t care if this happened over eleven years ago in August 2006. I’m tired of this galactic mess. I’m calling on you, reader, to help me help Pluto.
Without Pluto, our solar system is lacking. Seriously, our solar system lacks an entire ninth planet. It’s time to show Pluto some love. Honk if you love Pluto, but be polite and don’t honk around school buses, senior citizens, families with children, or people who look like they can take you down in road rage. On second thought, let a thirty second vow of silence speak volumes about your feelings concerning Pluto. Silently together, we can bring back Pluto.